ACT II

(Calling out ) We have sweets and cigarettes.

Abdu

Come nearer. Sweets and cigarettes.

Fatma

Thanks, Mr. Abdo. We have caused you much trouble.

Abdu

Your trouble is my ease, Mrs. Fatma. You're like a sister and Faddel is my brother.

Fatma

By God, Faddel always praises you.

Abdu

This Faddel is a hero

Fatma

Don't you say that you, too, crossed the canal in 1973?

Abdu

Right.

Fatma

And what, if you don't mind, made you work as a porter?

Abdu

After I had come back from war, they rewarded me and appointed me as an errand boy.

Fatma

What do you mean an errand boy

Abdu

An errand boy is a delivery boy. He takes papers from one office to another.

Fatma

I got it. Is this the job the government had found you?

Abdu

Where is Mr. Faddel?

Fatma

Went is Mr. Faddel?

Mahrous

What's this? What's this? (Enters) a dirty shack in front of my building and on my side walk.

Fatma

The Hero's shack. You sightless Effendi.

Mahrous

Who's this girl, Abdu?

Abdu

(Getting confused) This….

Fatma

I'm Fatma

Mahrous

Fatma who? Whose daughter?

Fatma

Fatma daughter of Salem Abu Soliman.

Mahrous

Salem Abu Soliman. I don't know him.

Fatma

Yours is a bad day. How come you don't know him though I remember seeing you before. Where did I see you? Where?

Mahrous

Abdu.

Abdu

Good morning! A happy morning, sir

Mahrous

It's a tarred morning, a sooty morning. How did this shack come here? Who built it?

Fatma

It was built yesterday. I built it along with Faddel and your brother Abdu.

Mahrous

My brother Abdu! (Gets disgusted) Abdu.

Abdu

Yes, your excellency.

Mahrous

How dare you commit this terrible deed

Fatma

Why are you attacking us this way?

Mahrous

How are you build this shack here?

Fatma

I have already told you. I made it with Faddel and Mr. Abdu.

Mahrous

How wonderful!

Fatma

Thanks

Mahrous

Then what?

Fatma

A gallant man… Hero of the October war.

Mahrous

By God!

Fatma

They appointed him an errand by may God punish them- after he had crossed the canal and walked through fire and killed so many enemies. You don't know what an errand boy is. It means a delivery boy papers and stuff among offices. Do you see what heroes in our country work as after the war? Either errand boys or porters. I remember when we were at war. As children we used to sing "Your son tells to bring him morning, hero" We used to call them Egypt heroes, watch them inside cars and applaud them. After they get out of cars, we make them work as porters errand boys and conductors. Does this make sense?

Mahrous

Are you giving me a political picture? To whom does this shack belong, Abdu?

Fatam

Faddel

Mahrous

Faddel who? Who would he be?

Fatma

Stop. Don't you dare insult my husband. I know you.

Faddel

(Enters) Peace on you. (Looks at Mahrous) What's the matter? Incredible. Is it the famous professor Mahrous Shaelelha?

Mahrous

Do you know me?

Faddel

The journalist professor, Mahrous Shaelelha. I'm one of your biggest fans. You're widely knowing, professor. I used to the newspaper every day during the liberation war in order to read your articles and watch you on T.V every day. You have 20 respectable suits, right?

Mahrous

Thanks, son. (Gives him a pound)

Faddel

Thank you. And your words.. Your words are so sweet. Knowledge, understanding, wit and depth. Professor Mahrous Shaelelha.. It's on old dream of mine to meet you.

Fatma

Really!

Mahrous

Take this pound as well, son

Faddel

May God save you

Fatma

What's this? Are taking money from him?

Faddel

Sure I do. He's my friend. People's friend. He's professor Mahrous Shaelelha

Fatma

What does Mahrous Shaelelha mean? What would he be? Just another journalist no more no less.

Faddel

Shut up! (Hits her)

Fatma

Do you hit me because of him?

Mahrous

Bravo! You're a good boy. Take another pound.

Faddel

No (then he takes it)

Mahrous

You and Abdu remove this shack from here.

Faddel

What shack?

Mahrous

This woman's shack

Faddel

It isn't hers.

Mahrous

Yes, know it belongs to….

Abdu

(To Mahrous) Please sir, leave the shack to poor people.

Mahrous

You would not be a good porter after this woman had deceived you with a couple of words. But this boy is very good (Pointing at Faddel) He can take your place, Abdu.

Fatma

They will give you a porter's job, too.

Mahrous

I'm free to give him any job I like.

Fatma

A porter instead of Abdu, the good man.

Mahrous

None of your business. He is an excellent boy and I'll give him any job I choose.

Faddel

You know that except for professor Mahrous's articles the war would have never taken place. We used to open our eyes on him in the newspapers and sleep with his voice in our ears. He is the writer of "Hit them and comfort us, Bush" article.

Mahrous

Take another pound, boy. You deserve it. You're a good boy who knows my articles by heart. Come on.

Faddel

Come on what?

Mahrous

Remove the shack

Faddel

Are you kidding?

Mahrous

No, I am not.

Faddel

But what's your problem with the shack anyway?

Fatma

Ask him

Faddel

Does this shack in its present place here hurt you? Does it pinch you somewhere?

Mahrous

I live in a quiet high-class street. The shack will gather jobless kids.

Faddel

I won't gather jobless kids, sir. I run after my bread.

Mahrous

What has this got to do with you? Remove the shack together with Abdu.

Abdu

Your excellency….

Faddel

Mr. Shaelelha.. this shack is mine.

Mahrous

Yours. Yours will be removed.

Faddel

Are you kidding or talking seriously?

Mahrous

Of course I'm serious.

Faddel

Pardon me, does this street belongs to your father. Its name is Shaelelha street?

Mahrous

Keep your limits.

Faddel

(In a loud voice) It belongs to the government. Right or wrong?

Mahrous

Yes, it does

Faddel

I'm the son of the government.

Mahrous

Whose son are you, boy?

Faddel

The government's son. Weren't you Broad-casting "Egypt, your sons will free the land after every speech of yours?

Mahrous

Yes. It's radio talk just like songs.

Faddel

I believed you and the radio.

Mahrous

Let the radio give you a permit.

Faddel

The radio gives me a permit?

Mahrous

Yes. Here's the radio (Pointing at it) make it give you a permit.

Faddel

Are you feverish or did you lose your mind? Take the three pounds you've given me.

Mahrous

Four pounds.

Faddel

You remember them, you cunning Shaeleha. Here the fourth pound.

Mahrous

It is not allowed to build a shack in the street unless you have a permit from the government.

Fatma

Here's the permit. (Presenting the medal)

Mahrous

What's this?

Fatma

Not enough for you? Look here, too. (Presenting the journal)

Mahrous

A medal and a journal. I'm asking you where is the permit?

Fatma

This is better than the permit.

Mahrous

(Copening his wallet) Take ten pounds, my son, and remove the shack.

Fatma

No, we're not leaving. Were staying on the government's property.

Mahrous

Don't make me use force with you (He threatens to lick him).

Faddel

You'll hit me because my leg is injured. Not, by your life, I can beat you.

Fatma

By God, we'll show anyone who lifts a hand against us.

Mahrous

Call the police, Abdu.

Abdu

Forgive them, sir.

Mahrous

Call the police and tell them Mahrous Shaelelha wants wants you to come at once.

Abdu

Please, sir.

Mahrous

Have him remove this shack from opposite our building to the other street.

Faddel

How is your street so different from others? What's so special about it?

Fatma

We thought it is a quiet and good street.

Employee (1)

(Enters) Good morning. Where is the owner of this shack?

Faddel

Me.

Fatma

Me.

Employee (1)

You two?

Together

Yes

Mahrous

Kick them out of here, sir. I'm Mahrous Shaelelha the political reporter.

Employee (1)

I don't know you

Mahrous

Don't you read newspapers?

Employee (1)

No.

Mahrous

But you watch T.V

Employee (1)

No.

Mahrous

Who are you?

Employee (1)

I'm the representative of the labor office. Who are the laborers here?

Faddel

What laborers. We don't have a restaurant or a cafeteria. This is a shack,

Fatma

Look here brother. This is the medal. My husband Faddel took it from the president. He's the hero of the liberation war.

Faddel

And this is Abdu, hero of October war who destroyed 50 tanks.

Abdu

Welcome

Faddel

(To the employee) What about you?

Employee (1)

I'm hero of the withdrawal retreat.

Faddel

What?

Employee (1)

I with drew in 1956, with drew in 1967 but got squeezed into the hole in 73.

Mahrous

The war is over now and peace has come. The global system must dominate the society.

Employee (1)

Owner's name?

Fatma

Faddel Abdel Samie.

Employee (1)

Fees for lack of permit and lees for not hanging a sign for opening and closing dates.

Fatma

What are all those fees?

Employee (1)

I have to take it out on you because I was not victorious like you. Another fee for the journalist Mahrous Shaelelha. Peace on you. (Exits)

Fatma

The fees mean that we are on the government's side.

Mahrous

Look son. It isn't easy to open a shack in a street especially the street I live in.

Faddel

Why was it son easy them when I was at war fighting? Where were you when I was there surrounded by deserts from every direction? Where were you, Professor Shaelelha? You were at the T.V saying hit them, brother. Fight, brother for it is the liberation war. You were in an air conditioned place and your car is air-conditioned, too. Speak up. It was easy enough for you.

Mahrous

Each fights from his on position.

Fatma

What does this mean? Where did you fight? Be specific.

Mahrous

I fought with my pen.

Faddel

Your pen! Cunning boy! No wonder I saw planes falling off the sky as I sat in the battlefield. When I asked why these planes were falling, boys, they said it's professor Shaelelha's pen.

Mahrous

Are you making fun of me, boy? I'll show you. You will see. (Exits)

Abdu

Professor Mahrous. Just wait a second. (Runs after him)

Fatma

Don't say boy. (Enters Employee (2) )

Employee (2)

Where's the shop owner?

Faddel

Me

Employee (2)

Where are the scales?

Faddel

What are the scales for?

Employee (2)

Aren't you a seller? So, you have to have scales.

Fatma

Pardon, but who are you?

Employee (2)

I belong to the ministry of supplies.

Faddel

I didn't buy scales.

Employee (2)

Fees for selling without scales.

Faddel

Oh, boy. The ministry of supplies has nothing to do but my scales. Why me? The loaf is not the right weight, correct? Tea bags are not the right weight, correct? I think the ministry has to give each one scales to weight his stuff.

Employee (2)

Where are your scales? Get them out and ship the idiot show.

Faddel

I don't have scales, Fellow.

Fatma

We don't have scales, brother, because we sell nothing with scales. So, we do not need them.

Employee (2)

No, you'll need scales for sure. Every shop has to have scales.

Fatma

Find us scales to buy in your own way, brother.

Employee (2)

Hold this (Writes in a paper) This is a fee you'll pay because you don't have scales.

Mahrous

I reported you to the public utilities police and they should be on the way.

Abdu

Removal people, son, are no the way. Leave.

Policeman

(As he passes by) peace on you.

Mahrous

Sergeant! Sergeant!

Policeman

Yes.

Mahrous

Pill this shack down. Pull it down at once.

Policeman

What are you saying, sir? I have nothing to do with pulling down. I have a mission to do.

Mahrous

I'm telling you to pull this shack down and to arrest this fellow.

Fatma

Arrest him, sergeant.

Faddel

This man thinks he's above the government.

Fatma

This man is so arrogant, sergeant.

Faddel

Arrest him and I'll reward you.

Policeman

Stop it all of you. I want to know what the matter is?

Abdu

It's simple uncle No fel.

Policeman

As long as it is simple, I'm leaving.

Mahrous

Stop where are you.

Policeman

(Salutes) At your service, sir. Are you a general.

Mahrous

I'm neither a general nor an officer. I'm Mahrous Shaelelha.

Faddel

Damn the weird world.

Mahrous

Are you insulting me?

Faddel

I said the weird world.

Policeman

Then, what? I want to know what is it all about.

Fatma

I'll explain to you, brother. Do you see this medal?

Policeman

Lovely! What about it?

Fatma

It belongs to Faddel

Faddel

Me.

Policeman

Wonderful!

Fatma

Your brother Faddel got it from Mr. The President hero of the liberation war. Do you see this journal? This is Faddel's photo with the President.

Policeman

(Holds the journal) A thousand congratulations, Faddel. I hope I could get one, boys.

Faddel

Thanks. I wish he'd give you one, too.

Policeman

I wish I could get a medal like this and a photo like this so that I could be proud in font of my children and grandchildren.

Mahrous

You'll be friends and unify against me or what? I'm telling you to pull down the shack on him right away.

Policeman

Have you got a removal order, sir.

Mahrous

This boy has no lience.

Faddel

I have a license fee which is a license.

Mahrous

This boy stands against the district, the government and metropolitan Cairo.

Faddel

I've become metropolitan Cairo's problem.

Mahrous

If anything is stolen, he'll be responsible.

Fatma

You're the thief because you stole us with your words.

Mahrous

Shut up. I'm not leaving you here another minute. I'll call the minister of Interior at once and I'll be back. (Exits. Abdu follows)

Abdu

Enough your excellency. Come back

Faddel

(To the policeman) The minister of the Interior is my friend. He greeted me when I was with the president and said "You raised our heads up high, Faddel" and patted my shoulder.
I swear to God he said my name. So, he'll call him now. He'll ask him "What do you want, Mahrous?" He'll say Faddel Abdel Samie. He'll say "Faddel is the hero of liberation. You should be ashamed, Mahrous. Leave him alone. I'm the minister and I'm telling you to have shame. And he'll come back in disappointment.

Policeman

Tell him about my problem, Faddel.

Faddel

Do you have a problem with the ministry?

Policeman

Yes.

Faddel

Tell me. Don't be shy. The minister is my close friend.

Policeman

I have been in the service for thirty years now without getting a single promotion. I should be a petty officer but I'm what I'm.

Faddel

Simple. We'll make you a petty officer. He's a close friend of mine. Look at his photo here standing with us and with president. All together. All heroes. The citizen, the minister and the President in the photo.

Policeman

The patrol is here.

Faddel

The minister must have sent for me. Right, Fatma?

Fatma

You're the hero of all heroes, brother.

The officer

(Enters the patrol officer) Where's he?

Faddel

(To the policeman) Tell him, uncle Nofel. Explain to him. Who am I?

The officer

What is it soldier?

Policeman

Sir.

The officer

Where's he?

Policeman

Here he is. (Painting at Faddel )

The officer

What's your exact story, boy?

Faddel

Answer him, uncle Nofel. Officers always insult you. Answer.

Policeman

The matter is, sir.

The officer

You shut your mouth. I asking him. What is your story, boy? And who is this girl?

Fatma

Don't say girl. I'm lady Fatma wife of the hero Faddel Abdel Samie. Don't say boy.

Faddel

Are you listing. Don't call me boy. I'm a hero.

The officer

Hero of what, may the prophet be praised?

Fatma

Hero of the liberation war. He was crossified there and got a medal from the president. Here… Here's the medal.

Mahrous

(To the officer) Mr. Brigadeer, this boy must leave at once and this shack has to be pulled down immediately.

The officer

Listen boy have you got a liscnce from the district?

Faddel

No.

The officer

A lisence from the utility?

Faddel

I have what is greater than these.

The officer

What have you got? Don't say the medal and journal.

Faddel

I have God.

The officer

We all have God. I'm not joking with you.

Faddel

Why are you jealous of me? Why do you envy me? Did you take the president's medal?

The officer

No.

Faddel

Take a photo with the president?

The officer

No.

Faddel

Take a photo with the president?

The officer

No.

Faddel

Fight with the friendly and brotherly countries?

The officer

No

Faddel

Then, why do you compare yourself to me just as (George Sambo)?

The officer

Who's Geroge Sambo?

Faddel

An American Soldier. He was with me there and he used to say he would give me an American cigarette and hit me no the back neck. I used to tell him to give me the cigarette and I hit him.

The officer

These are the orders, son.

Mahrous

The officer is making a surprise attack.

Faddel

Surprise attack (Laughs) I know it. This is a kind of food they call surprise attack because we attack the food with our bare hands with no mercy. But George Sambo ate hamburger, soft drinks. They really spoilt this American boy, Sambo. He tacks his food to give it to me and he didn't smoke but foreign cigarettes, eats foreign food and even his language was foreign. I taught him Arabic. But each time I asked him why we do not eat the same and smoke the same, he said it was orders.

The officer

I'm sorry Mr… what's your name?

Faddel

Faddel Abdel Samie

The officer

I'm sorry Faddel. I have to pull down the shack you've built.

Mahrous

At once, please, at once.

The officer

All right. All right.

Faddel

Mahrous said pull the shack down at once. Aren't you the one who said hit them on T.V every day. Come on hit them on hit them our hero soldiers.. down inside and outside the country.

The officer

I have to pull down the shack. Get your things together.

Faddel

I want my mother. My mother will preserve my rights before you pull down.

The officer

Who's your mother, boy?

Faddel

The International court.

The officer

Is there a woman called the International court?

Faddel

Mr. Mahrous used to say " our heroic soldiers, your mother is the International court and your father is the New Global System. Right?

Mahrous

This boy tells silly jokes and he has gone so far.

The officer

I really have to pull the shack down, Faddel. Get away. One, two, three. ( soldier attack the shack, black out, the scene changes into the T.V Building from the back way. Saffya stands with a camera and a mic)

Saffya

Dear audience, we are now in a program called "For no Reason" The camera is in the street by the door of the T.V building. We might run into any of the famous artists. We will ask him where he is going and what's new in his life.

Kuki

(A belly dancer passes quickly) Good morning.

Saffya

Mrs. Kuki. Mrs. Kuki the famous artist!

Kuki

Good morning. How are you, honey? Your program was beautiful. The public café, wasn't it?

Saffya

No, the public café isn't mine.

Kuki

Strike me, I mean cinema club.

Saffya

Not mine either.

Kuki

Strike me. I thought it's yours. Pardon me. I opened a new casino in El Haram street and came to invite our fellow artists. You're invited of course.

Saffya

It'll be an advertisement, Mrs. Kuki.

Kuki

Why an ad, honey? You are always like this, suhair.

Saffya

I'm not suhair

Kuki

You're Affaf, then. Strike me.

Saffya

Nor Affaf. I'm Saffya Mahmoud.

Kuki

Yes, Saffya Mahmoud sister of Aly Mahmoud.

Saffya

Who's Aly Mahmoud.

Kuki

Aly Mahmoud, the composer.. and Aly Mahmoud the spice-dealer and Aly Mahmoud the actor. Oh, I'm only joking. Strike me.

Employee

Yes, Mister

Faddel

Do you work for the government?

Employee

Yes.

Faddel

The first one in the government to call me mister you don't belong to this part of the country?

Employee

Yes, what can't I do for you? Finish.

Faddel

Tell him, Fatma.

Fatma

This the hero Faddel Abdel Samie. He came to meet Mrs. Saffya Mahmoud, the announcer?

Employee

Mrs. Saffya Mahmoud, the announcer?

Fatma

Yes, brother. May Allah never delays your business with the government.

Faddel

May you get higher ranks in the government and become very big.

Employee

Have you got permission?

Faddel

What permission? I'm a hero. Look (Gets the medal out)

Employee

This information. We are not the complaints office.

Faddel

Be careful of mistaking a word here or there with your sphinx moustaches.

Fatma

Does sphinx have moustaches?

Faddel

He shaved it off for what he had seen I must see Mrs. Saffya.

Employee

Kick him out.

Faddel

Take your hands off me. Leave me alone.

Fatma

(Finding her) Save us, Mrs. Saffya.

Saffya

What? Who are you?

Faddel

I'm the son of the court and the new Global system Faddel Bush and president, Faddel Abdel Samie.

Fatma

We were at the hospital. Didn't you call me Fatma, wife of the hero?

Faddel

Remember the medal here. (President the medal)

Fatma

And the journal here. (Presents the journal)

Saffya

Stop shooting, Mostafa.

Cameraman

O.K.

Kuki

(Goes to the cameraman) Do I look good, Mostafa?

Cameraman

Real good, Mrs. Kuki.

Faddel

We suffered much, Mrs. Saffya.

Fatma

They broke our shack into pieces, Mrs. Saffya.

Kuki

How pitiful? Do you know those good people, Susu?

Saffya

This hero of the liberation war.

Kuki

His wife is so pretty. Turn around so that I can see your shape, young lady.

Fatma

What's wrong with you. Lady? Do you kidnap women?

Kuki

Never. She's so sweet. Haven't you seen me in the movies. I'm Kuki the belly dancer of the cinema and theatre. Is this your husband?

Fatma

This is my husband.

Faddel

Should I turn around, too, lady? I might work as a belly dancer.

Kuki

Were you in the liberation war?

Faddel

Yes. I used to get in with the militia to smuggle weapons for the resistance.

Kuki

Incredible!

Saffya

Shoot these words, Mostafa. Repeat them, Faddel.

Faddel

I'll repeat and repeat so that everyone could hear. I used to get in with the militia to smuggle weapons for the resistance.

Kuki

(Dances and sings) I'm the genea boy who is never at ease. I go up bussing, come down bussing. (The scene shifts to Kuki casino. A cigarettes shack in the casino. It is nighttime)

(Fatma is standing in front of the shack singing)

Kuki

(As she enters) Good morning.

Fatma

Good morning.

Kuki

Aren't you going to listen to reason and come work with us, Fatma girl?

Fatma

I understand nothing about dancing and such things, Mrs. Kuki.

Kuki

Suit yourself honey. Strike me if I ask you to come work with us again.

Fatma

May Allah save you, Mrs. Kuki for making us this shack. No policeman and no officer and those who come, leave at once. They should elect you minister of poor people like us.

Kuki

Where's Faddel.

Fatma

He is gone to buy some scented herbs to scent the casino and the shack.

Kuki

May Allah save him. Excuse me honey. (Enters)

Badre

(Enters an Arab youth in his twenties wearing a T-shirt with Bosh's picture and American Flag and a hat. He is drunk) have you got cigarettes?

Fatma

I have Cleopatra.

Badre

Foreign cigarettes.

Fatma

I'm afraid not brother.

Badre

(Notices her beauty) do you know to cook?

Fatma

Yes brother.

Badre

You know how to arrange the house well?

Fatma

I could arrange ten houses. Why asking?

Badre

Well. Well. I want you to come to my house every day from morning till noon.

Fatma

I do not understand.

Badre

Why don't you? I'll give you five hundred pounds a month. Com on.

Fatma

I don't understand why you will give me 500 pounds a month, brother

Badre

You'll come to my house to clean It and to serve me.

Fatma

Wrong address, brother. I'm Fatma wife of Faddel the hero. Do you see this medal?

Badre

Yes, I see it.

Fatma

Faddel got it in the liberation war in your country.

Badre

Who's Faddel?

Fatma

Faddel, my husband.

Badre

Are you married?

Fatma

Yes, I told you Faddel was in your country. Where are you from, brother?

Badre

From the liberated country.

Fatma

Welcome.

Badre

Welcome yourself.

Fatma

My husband Faddel was there.

Badre

And I was here. (Laughs)

Faddel

(Enters) what's this? Laughing with a strange man? What a shame!

Badre

I'm no stranger.

Fatma

He's from the liberated country.

Faddel

You're from the liberated country? Liar. I haven't seen you there.

Badre

Here's the passport.

Faddel

Strange! I was there. Where were you?

Badre

I was here. Shedding blood instead of tears.

Kuki

(Exits) Faddel. Faddel.

Faddel

Yes.

Kuki

How are you doing, Badre?

Badre

How are you, Mrs. Kuki?

Faddel

Do you know Badre.

Kuki

Has been planted here for years.

Faddel

Here, where?

Kuki

Here at the bar.

Faddel

Shame on you! Crying blood, he said. From the liberated country by name but I was there.

Badre

Will lecture me? You are there, I'm here. I'm there, you're here.

Kuki

Come inside Badre.

Badre

I want this girl to come clean and cock for me.

Kuki

This, honey, is Faddel's wife. Come inside. Come (Pushed him to get into the casino) Listen Faddel.

Faddel

Yes. Do you want me to clean and wash for you, too?

Kuki

No. I want you to go to Musky at this address and drag the drum man by the collar.

Faddel

There, I used to carry guns and deliver orders and plans and here, I fetch a drumer.

Kuki

There, it was war, honey, and it's over. So wake up. Any way, I was wrong. Strike me if I ask you for anything again.

Man 2

(The drumer) Good evening, Lady. I'm sorry I'm late.

Kuki

You're late. Didn't I tell you to install an instant phone? Strike me for hiring you.

Man 2

I made the application three years ago, lady.

Kuki

All right, Get inside. (He enters the casino)

Fatma

I don't know why you always talk to her this way.

Faddel

You can't be a belly dancer and I can't be a pimp or the lady's ox in the end. It's turn that the government can't talk to her because she has got weapons. Big moustaches in the ministry in her right pocket, sensitive underwear in her left pocket for big businessmen. She's capable, strike me.

George

( A dark soldier in cowboys clothes) Hello!

Faddel

Peace on you. Welcome.

George

Have you got matches?

Faddel

This voice isn't strange and this word, too.

George

Have you got matches?

Faddel

Stop, you son of a gun. (Remembers)

George

(Remembers) Faddel George Bush

Faddel

George Abdel Samie. When did you come from America?

George

Two weeks ago. I went to visit you in the countryside.

Faddel

Did you see the mayor?

George

The mayor said you were dead.

Faddel

That mayor is the one who stole my rights. How are you! George Sambo?

George

I'm fine. How are you?

Faddel

Do you remember Sambo?

George

(Counting dollars) seventy, eighty, ninety.

Faddel

What money is this, Sambo?

George

It's my money, my salary.

Faddel

How much do you get, Sambo?

George

A thousand two hundred dollars a month. What about you?

Faddel

Two hundred pounds. I mean 1200. I mean 1000. I say. What about you cashing my salary a month and I get yours the next?

George

How sweet! Impossible.

Faddel

Why, Sambo?

George

I belong to George Bushe.

Faddel

And my name is Faddel Boush but I live in Egypt. This is nice, isn't it?

George

Your passport isn't like mine.

Faddel

Take my passport and give me yours to cash the money with.

George

We're friendly countries.

Faddel

And we're brother countries. Why are we less? Listen you become brotherly and I turn friendly do that I could get as much.

George

Impossible.

George

Those are soldiers Liza. Beazo and Rosa. Cooperative Armed Forces.

Faddel

Those are cooperative forces.. Armed, too? By God I would like one of them to cooperate with me. If she does, we'll achieve mircales.

George

Very well. We're friends.

Faddel

We are so fine, George. From 33 countries.

George

We are all sons of the International court and the new global system.

Faddel

You know what I hope for, George? I wish we could all liberate this country and leave it to liberate Jerusalem. How wonderful! How sweet!

Faddel

Remember Sambo, when they gave six healthy water bottles a day drink and have a bath and gave me only two per day. You were good. You gave me four of yours. Remember, Sambo.

George

I came to watch folklore dancing.

Faddel

Get in Sambo, Go (Sambo enters the Casino)

Salem

Have you get cold drink?

Faddel

I have pepsi, seven, coca-cola and everything.

Salem

Seven up.

Faddel

Who? Salem?

Salem

Who? Faddel. You clown. How are you? I asked about you? Where have you been since your injury?

Faddel

Fatma! Fatma! Where did this Fatma girl go?

Fatma

(Rushing out of the casino) Yes, Faddel.

Faddel

What were you doing in there, girl?

Fatma

I was watching people throwing money under Kuki's feet, brother.

Faddel

This is Salem. Salem was there in the liberated country. I used to deliver him weapons and letters.

Fatma

Salem is Badre's brother?

Faddel

He's really his brother but they are so different.

Fatma

How do you do?

Salem

How do you do? How are you doing? What did you do when came back?

Faddel

Here's a medal I took from the president and here's my photo with him.

Salem

Good! Good! You must be pleased now.

Faddel

Thank God.

Salem

Why did you come to visit and congratulate us?

Faddel

I went to the embassy where they asked who I am, if I have a visiting card, permission or a business contract. Who invited me. They tore mw up, brother Salem.

Salem

Don't feel sad. They don't know. How come? They should be generous to you. You brought us weapons, were the first to enter and the first to get injured.

Faddel

That son of a gun, Sambo did not want to enter first. He said Egyptians first because they are brotherly. All this so that the explosives would hit me instead. He's friendly not brotherly, you know.

Salem

I must see to your problem. The embassy and the whole country should be dutiful to you. You're the son of the neighborhood. Don't be sad. Tomorrow morning the whole embassy will be waiting for you. I'll pick you up along with sister Fatma. Excuse me. Tomorrow at 7 o'clock.

Faddel

Strange! Don't you want to spend the night with Badre?

Salem

I'm not this type, Faddel.

Faddel

May Allah give you strength.

Fatma

Faddel.

Faddel

Fatma. The world has smiled to us. They'll reward me, Fatma.

Fatma

And you'll travel.

Faddel

And they'll give me a business contract.

Fatma

And celebrate you.

Faddel

I'll tell them I can't travel.

Fatma

No, brother. Let's travel for a few months and come back.

Faddel

Suppose they ask me what I want, Fatma. How could we composite you for your injury and for what you've lost?

Fatma

Ask for an apartment.

Faddel

And a store.

Fatma

And a car

Faddel

Long live Faddel Bushe.

(the scene shifts into the embassy building)

Time : Seven in the evening .

Ambassadors

Where's Faddel?

Badre

Must be no the way now.

Ambassadors

Where's Salem?

Badre

With Him.

Ambassadors

Where's Mr. George?

Badre

All three are in one car.

Faddel

(Without) My heart is beating, Fatma.

Fatma

May lord be with you, Faddel.

Faddel

Let's get in, Fatma.

Fatma

No, Faddel. I'm not going in. I'm frightened.

Faddel

Don't be frightened, girl. You'll see things you haven't seen in the cinema.

Fatma

You coin, brother, and I'll wait for you here.

Salem

O.K leave her in the car, Faddel.

George

Come on, Faddel. Time is up.

Faddel

O.K Let's go.

Salem

(enters) The great Egyptian hero is here.

All

Bim Boom Bang Boom.

(then they give traditional applause)

All

Bim Boom Bang Boom.

George

(Enters) Please, come in, Faddel.

Faddel

(Enters in surprise) Peace on you.

(Tow girls come forward and present flowers to Faddel)

All

(Cheering) Bim Boom Bang Boom.

Faddel

Is Botrus Ghally coming or what?

Ambassadors

No.

Faddel

The president again. It's a good chance for me to meet and tell him.

Ambassadors

No.

Faddel

Then, Gorbi is coming.

Ambassadors

Nor is Gorbi, He's been relieved.

Faddel

Who is this celebration for, then?

Ambassadors

For you. Look! This your photo. Look! That's your mane.

Faddel

Allah is great. Cheer-up, mother. Impossible guys. Am I dreaming?

Badre

You're not dreaming. You're a hero.

Faddel

Where is the loud-voiced man, them?

Badre

Which man?

Faddel

The one with the sword who walks one tow and should at presidents kings. I want to come and shout for me a little.

Salem

This is no time for jokes, Faddel

Embassy Employee

I welcome you in the name of the embassy

Faddel

Here you are

Embassy Employee

What about me?

Faddel

You are the one who kiched me out, aren't you?

Embassy Employee

I don't remember. (He talks like a robot)

Faddel

Don't hold me, (Faddel takes his jacket off )

Salem

What a shame! He's only on errand boy at the embassy.

Faddel

He acted like a "Fallouta"

Badre

What's a "Fallouta"?

Faddel

A top hat boy.

Badre

What do you mean?

Salem

He held his nose high in the sky.

Waiter

(Carrying drinks) Please. (offers a tray with glasses.)

Faddel

All those! What's this?

Waiter

Tomato juice, apple juice, orange juice, grapefruit seven up. Coca cola.. Toam Miranda.

Faddel

I want a meat and burger send witch.

Waiter

You have a good sense of humour, sir.

Faddel

Do you work here in the embassy?

Waiter

Yes

Faddel

Do you hold your nose high like that fellow?

Waiter

No.

Badre

(Holding the mic) In the name of Allah the Merciful the Compassionate. Friends and brothers, we come here tonight to celebrate the greatest hero of the liberation war.. Faddel Abdel Smaie. (Hot applaud)

Faddel

Thank you. Thank you.

Badre

Now here's brother Salem from the resistance who will talk to us about Faddel Abdel Smaie's role.

Faddel

Where's the hammer?

Badre

What hammer?

Faddel

Don't you knock with a hammer for each speaker as in the house of common, the United Nations, and the security council. By the way, why do they hold hammers?

Salem

In the name of Allah The Merciful and Compassionate. Your excellency the ministers and ambassadors, we gather here tonight to celebrate the hero Faddel. Abdel Samie.

All

Faddel! Faddel! Long live Faddel.

Faddel

Long live Faddel.

All

Long live Faddel.

Faddel

Souls and blood, we give for you, Faddel.

All

Souls and blood, we give for you, Faddel.

Faddel

Down with him. Down with him.

All

Down with him. Down with him.

Faddel

Live. Live. Live.

All

Live. Live. Live.

Faddel

(To the group) Don't you have a character of your own? I say down, you say down and I say live, you say live.

Salem

And us we celebrate this. Great hero.

Faddel

Yes, this great hero. Saad. Saad. Long live Saad Zaghlool Pasha.

All

Saad Zaghlool Pasha.

Faddel

Long live Mostafa Kamel.

All

Long live Mostafa Kamel.

Faddel

Fire. Fire. Colonism.

All

Fire. Fire. Colonism.

Faddel

Fire. Fire and prices are on fire.

All

"Silence"

Faddel

Did I talk politics? Did I say something wrong and the sensor ship will stop the play or what?

Salem

(Talks but he is unheard in the background) This hero Faddel Abdel Samie smuggled weapons into the country.

Faddel

(looking at an ambassador beside him) Don't you smuggle weapons, too? You could admire me. I smuggle weapons for dollars only.

Salem

(Raises his voice) And carried letters and instructions with the Bedwins.

Faddel

Yes, this is the son of Ekream the off-spring of Salah El Dean and Toman. This is Faddel whom the government hit in front of his shack everyday without saying Ah.

Salem

He endangered his life so many times for the sake of a just cause.

(They applaud loudly. Faddel looks at a man)

Faddel

Are you really English?

Journalist

Yes.

Faddel

You really talk in English?

Journalist

Yes and Arabic, too.

Faddel

What do you do for a living?

Journalist

A journalist.

Faddel

English, too?

Journalist

A reporter for "Bisy, Bisy my friend.

Faddel

Do you live in a shack, too? I mean where do you live?

Journalist

At the meredian.

Faddel

Is that eatable?

Journalist

What's eatable? It's a hotel.

Faddel

I know.

Salem

Today we're celebrating this courageous hero for what he had given to the land. We should not forget that on the first day of the liberation, Faddel was the first man to enter the liberated country with his colleagues. One of them got killed and he was injured in the foot.

Faddel

(Screaming and crying) Oh, Mahmoud, Oh, Mahmoud Don't remind me of him.

Badre

Who's Mahmoud?

Faddel

The boy who died. I owe him five dollars and two packets of cigarettes but he got killed.

Badre

O.K. O.K.

(Salem talks but we can not hear him)

Faddel

(Speaking to a man next to him) Are you an ambassador.

The Man

No. An ex-minister of foreign affairs and I a degree in international relations in the 20^th century.

Faddel

Well! Well! Tel me : Why is the world up side down? People killing people and people slaughtering people!

The Man

It's the law of struggle.

Faddel

What do you work as, now?

The Man

Weapons merchant.

Faddel

Good! Good! Cunning boy. You sit here watching who is against whom to sell to both sides. Oh, you!

The Man

Nice. Nice!

Faddel

Down with weapon merchants (No response) Did I talk politics again? None of my business.

Salem

This is Faddel Abdel Samie who walked through fire, raised the flag of beloved Egypt and got Injured for a just cause.

All

(applaud) (The group applaud warmly and scatter paper flowers)

Badre

Now, a word from our American friend, sergeant George Sambo)

George

Ladies and gentlemen. In fact, I'm so happy (laughs)

Faddel

Americans have a great sense of humour.

George

Faddel in my friend.

Faddel

(Cheers) Sambo Sambo you're my friend.

All

(applaud)

George

Faddel was really fearless.

All

Ooh!

George

We went him to smuggle weapons for the resistance inside the country and he come back alive and well.

All

How strange!

George

We wnt him with letters which he delivered and came back alive and well (laughs)

Faddel

(To a man next) This Sambo has a lot of dollars. Do you have dollars.

Man

I have a French Frank.

Faddel

Is this French?

Man

Yes.

Faddel

How about a game? You with the French Frank and I with the Egyptian pound.

Man

Yes.

Badre

Pay attention, Fadde. The man speaks on your behalf.

Faddel

I've had it with talk. We meed to get into important things.

George

This Faddel went into explosives.

All

Oh! Impossible!

George

(Laughing) Alive and well.

All

Bravo! Bravo!

George

This Faddel is a symbol of the ancient Egyptian cat which has sevenn souls. (Laughs)

Egyptian Journalist

The American General praised Faddel's ability and said he's the sumbol of the great soldier.

George

Faddel is Egypt's son. Egypt of the Sphinx, the Nile the shipe and the camels.. the cows and buffaloes, and the temples in Luxor. Salute Faddel. (They applaude)

George

Bim Boom Bang Boom! (They cheer)

Badre

Now, with the ourageous hero, Faddel Abdel Smaie. (They applaude. Badre and Salem push Faddel to the stand)

Faddel

(Standing behind the microphone) Hello! Hello! One, two, three four., Ten Hello! Hello! Haj Mahmoud Mics is ready for parties and occasions 135227 for furniture, electricing and all.. Hello! Hello!

Badre

What are you doing, Faddel?

Faddel

Trying the mic.

Badre

O.K. speak, then.

Faddel

Muses is a prophet, Jesus is a prophet, Mahammed is a prophet and each prophet deserves praise. Look, I have five pounds and you have dollars, Franks, Sterling, Kuwaitian, Omanian, Japanese yen, Marks. We'll play each with his own currency. Here I have the back.

Badre

What are you doing, Faddel?

Faddel

I'm joking because I see they are all stiff in their expensive suits.

Badre

Let's be serious and concentrate on your celebration.

Faddel

Frannkly (very seriously) I'm really happy to be with you. Brother Badre invited me. I was really sad because he was staying in such a place that…

Badre

(Interrupting) Talk about Salem, faddel. Salem.

Faddel

Salem is brave. Salem was with told me the embassy will celebirate you, I was rejoiced and here I came.

Group

Bing Boom Bang Boom.

Faddel

(Into the microphone) Mahrous Shaelelha is not allowed in here.

Mahrous

What is this? What's the matter Mr. Ambassador? Who's that holding the microphone?

Faddel

It's me. Why are you here?

Mahrous

I didn't come to be insulted, your excellency. I come to attend a hero's celebration.

Ambassador

It seems there's a misunderstanding between Mr. Mahrous and Mr. Faddel.

Mahrous

I don't know the likes of him.

Faddel

I don't know his likes, too, do I?

Mahrous

Who are you?

Ambassador

This is Faddel, the hero.

Mahrous

This? (In surprise)

Faddel

Yes, this.

Mahrous

I thought you were honoring generals.

Faddel

Have some self-respect, Mahrous Shaelelha.

Ambassador

Salem!

Salem

(Drags Faddel aside) Really! What is it you're doing?

Faddel

He's the man who pulled my shack down.

Salem

Don't pay attention to him. Get to the stand and give your speech.

Faddel

But.

Salem

Skip the buts. Goon… (He climbs to the stand)

Mahrous

Excuse me, your excellency. I'll withdraw and write about this in my column tomorrow.

Ambassador

No, no. this is a misunderstanding between Egyptian brother.. You're all the embassy's guests.

Badre

Go on, Mr. Faddel.

Faddel

(Holds the mic) One, tow, three, four, ten.. Hello! Hello! Haj Shaelelha's shops…

Mahrous

This is an insult.

Faddel

Are you the only one called shaelelha? None of your business. Is it because you have a column to insult people in and I have none? Are you terrorizing us? Get your columns out, men. Use a Parker or even a pencil.

Badre

Mr. Faddel, please.

(An important person comes in. they all stemd and applaud him)

Faddel

Who's that?

Salem

(Whispering) He's the United Nations Representative.

Faddel

From Boutrus Ghalli's office. How nice! Boutrus hasn't forgotten what's between us. How long was it when we were just little kids playing in the alley?

Salem

Stop bluffing.

Faddel

I sopped. (The mayor enters the embassy building with noise)

Ambassador

What is it?

The mayor

I'm the Mayor, Friend of the hero Faddel Abdel Samie. I came to congratulation him as soon as I read about the party in the newspaper. How are you, Faddel?

Faddel

(As the Mayor hugs him) What did you come for?

The mayor

I want you to recommend my son to have a business contract for an oil company, Faddel. (Whispering) He's my son and your brother.

Faddel

What about my land?

The mayor

Your land is safe and sound. Even when the City Council chairman called me and said you had sent the security council president a letter asking for a help of 10000 dollars for treatment…

Faddel

Has the security council responded?

The mayor

Yes.

Faddel

They sent the money?

The mayor

Sorry but they said no.

Faddel

How come they said no? here's the united nations Representative?

Representative

Yes.

Faddel

I send a letter to the security council asking them to help me out with 10000 dollars.

Representative

That's right and we sent the governor 10000 dollars to deliver to you.

Faddel

How? Here's the Mayor saying you refused to.

The mayor

The matter, your excellency…….

Faddel

What matter? Speak up! Where's the 10000 dollars?

The mayor

Mr. The Governor told his security to take 5000 dollars and give them to the sheriff to give them to you. The sheriff delivered 2500 dollars to the City Council Chairman to give them to you. He gave me 1250 dollars, which I gave to the chief guard and the other people and told you they had refused.

Faddel

Oh, you people.

The bald man

Don't cry my son. Many nations are crying now.

Faddel

Who are you?

The bald man

I'm from the disintegrated great country

Faddel

I'm sorry, I have nothing. I know you're selling the atomic bomb for a sack of rice but what I can I do? I need an atomic bomb but I don't have a sack of rice to give you.

Ambassador

What do you need an atomic bomb for, Faddel?

Faddel

To commit suicide and be sure of my death.

Salem

What's wrong with you, Faddel? All the friendly and brotherly countries are celebrating you and you're turning it into a funeral!

George

Come on, Faddel.

Ambassador

Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, we have taken much of your time. Now, in the mane of the embassy, I'm happy to….

Journalist

Could we have a talk with the young hero?

Mahrous

(To the young journalist) he's merely a worthless boy. You'll give him value.

Faddel

I heard you, Shaelelha. I heard you.

Mahrous

No, this is much.

Ambassador

Good people….

Fatma

(Enters making a noise) Faddel, what's wrong, Faddel? Why were you late, brother?

Ambassador

Come on, gentlemen. Now, Badre, now. The embassy's word and let this party pass safely.

Badre

Now, the word of his excellency the Ambassador in honor of the hero Faddel.

(All applaud)

(Soft music. Three lights spot upon Fatma, Faddel and the Ambassador. The voices of the group are like soft music in the background. They move as if in a dream)

Ambassador

In the name of the liberated country…

Faddel

What do you wish to have Fatma?

Fatma

I wish for a nice apartment anywhere in Egypt,

Ambassador

And the name of embassy…

Faddel

What else, Fatma?

Fatma

I wish you could have a nice job with a salary at the end of the month. A salary authority in the country…

Faddel

What else, Fatma?

Fatma

(Laughing) A small car we turn into a taxi in the afternoon, which gives you a ride to work in the morning. The government job won't be enough for you, Faddel.

Ambassador

We present to the great hero and the first gallant warrior….

Faddel

Close your eyes, Fatma.

Fatma

I closed them, Faddel

Ambassador

We present Faddel Abdel Samie with the highest medal… The great warriors' medal.

Faddel

The bowel crown! Another medal. What medal? I don't want a medal. I don't want a medal.

(Full light on them. Faddel is in range throwing everything around him)

Faddel

I want the New Global System. I want the International court.. I want my father, Bushe.

(Sound of police patrol cars. Two men enter with a madman's shirt)

Voice (1)

What's happening in the embassy?

Voice (2)

A madam entered the party.

(Black out. The scene shifts on their beds in total calmness. A 70 year old man. A 60 year old man. A 50 year old man and a 40 year old man.)

The nurse

(Setting up the new bed.. talking to the patients) A new colleague of yours is on the way.

(They all leave papers and magazines and look up in interest)

Nurse (2)

(Pushing Faddel ) Get in, brother.

Faddel

Peace on you. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Faddel Abdel Samie. This is my photo with the president.. and this a medal from the president during the liberation war.

Patient (1)

I'm hero of the 48 war. This is a medal from King Farouk and his this is my photo with him.

Patient (2)

I'm hero of the 56 war. This a medal from the president and this my photo with him.

Patient (3)

I'm hero of the 67 war. This a medal from the president and here's my photo with him.

Patient (4)

I'm hero of the 73 war. This is a medal from him and here's my photo.

Dr. Ramzy

(Bursts in) I'm Dr. Ramzy. A doctor General. I don't want anyone to tread these heroes badly. They're Medal Holders, Who's that? Who are you, son? What's your name?

Faddel

I'm Faddel!

Dr. Ramzy

Whatever you need, any requests. Just let me know my son.

Faddel

(Stands and collects the medal from his colleagues) We have one request only. Tell this president and every president that we, who really fought, do not want medals and shields. We want an apartment anywhere. An apartment good enough for a human family. We want a safe job in the government. We want a small car, we could turn into a taxi in the afternoon and wish we could drive to work in the morning. Ask the president, what good is a medal for a hungry, homeless, insecured citizen?!!